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Norman Lovett Interview

Like a lot of you we were wondering what’s going on with Red Dwarf. Lots of news, none of it really saying anything.

We caught up with Norman Lovett – who some of you may know as Holly, the ship computer – towards the end of his current UK tour. We spoke to him about his stand-up routine, Red Dwarf (obviously) and (less obviously) how to get into a Cafe Nero.

LAUGHRIOT – Hi Norman, it’s Adam from LaughRiot
NORMAN LOVETT – Oh, Hi Adam. Sorry I’ve just come out of the hotel. I’m in Manchester walking along the road but fire away.
LR – Okay. How’s it going?
NL – Oh, very good. Very good
LR – And how about the tour. How’s that going?
NL – Yeah it’s good

A car whooshes by

NL (CONT’D) – Oop! Sorry, nearly got run over then. Yeah it’s going well.
LR – Coming to the end of the run now isn’t it?
NL – Yeah. Manchester now, Bury tomorrow and then Bowness. You know Bowness in windemere?
LR – No idea where that is!
NL – I know, I know! Nobody’s got a clue where it is. It’s in the Lake Distrct. And then there’s Selby, Leeds and the final one at Windsor which is my birth place and it’s actually on my birthday so that’s a weird one
LR – Anything special planned for your birthday?
NL – Uhh… not at the moment no. Hehe. I can’t think of anything to do. Should do really shouldn’t I? It’s being filmed as well. So that should be quite exciting
LR – Excellent, I’ve got your last DVD.
NL – Oh right!
LR – “Bags and Biscuits”
NL – Yeah. I know, it’s quite an output isn’t it. It’s like getting a slideshow dvd and stand-up dvd in virtually the same year. That’ll be my lot for a long time though I reckon. It’s good though, it’s all good.
LR – Is touring a series of long journeys and hotels for you or do you stop to look around when you get the chance?
NL – Well I always try to look around when I can. I’ve always liked Manchester and I like Liverpool. Tomorrow morning I will have quite a bit of time with Manchester to just go walk around and I just love that. Also the hotel that I’m staying at is right at the back of BBC Manchester where we recorded Red Dwarf so that brings back a lot of… memories, y’know
LR – It’s coming up to the 20th anniversary isn’t it – next year?
NL – I know! I was just thinking they’ll probably be bringing out some new merchandise. I think there’s something coming out in November. Something special. I lose track of it all
LR – I’ll look out for it
NL – Yeah. I don’t know what it is.. Special. I don’t know – something…
Sorry Adam I’ll get across this road in a minute. I’m going in to Cafe Nero and it should suddenly go a bit quieter. But anyway. Fire Away
LR – Do you update your act while on the road or do..
NL – It’s locked!!
LR – ..Sorry?
NL – The coffee shop, It’s shut! It can’t be shut!
LR – Well at 4 o’clock it shouldn’t be

Norman bangs on the door of Cafe Nero

NL – Are you shut?… are you sh.. ARE YOU CLOSED? *sigh* It didn’t work! Honestly it didn’t work! There’s another bloke trying it and he couldn’t get in either
LR – Haha
NL – Stop laughing at me!
LR – I’m just laughing because you can’t get a coffee at 4pm… Anyway. Do you update your act while on the road or is everything planned out?
NL – When I get a few days off I get the slides out and I just swop one or two over or sometimes I’ll find some other slides and say oh, I’ll try those three out in a sequence.
I’ve done that with tonights show. It mixes it up for me and surprises me sometimes. It’s going smoothly and then “what the hell is that?!” And then I start talking about it and make a joke about it and I suddenly remember that could be funny. But you do that. You have to do that to make it exciting for you as well.
LR – What kind of things are on your slides?
NL – Umm.. Well there are three pictures of the place I stayed in Newcastle. All the comedians get this flat and you get a room each and your there for Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

Norman’s clearly still trying to get in to the coffee shop

NL – Look, he can’t get in. She wasn’t watching then, she didn’t see! They do it on purpose, I’m sure they’re winding me up!
So anyway, they get us a flat instead of paying hotel bills. It’s called the Hyena Club in Newcastle. Anyway, I got there first so I got the room at the back and I thought ‘this is the best room, I’ll have this’ and I just sort of opened the blinds a bit, looked outside and it was absolutely disgusting out there. I’ve never seen so much rubbish and crap in my life.
So I let the blind go up and I took a picture of that so you can see the room and you can see the dirt outside. So then I did a close up of the dirt and then I did a real close up because there was a culture club hits CD lying right in the middle and I don’t know what it all meant.
I don’t know what’s funny about that but I suppose I’ll find out tonight. So the slides are just random really. Lots of people say ‘we just don’t know what to expect next but we’re laughing at it, whatever we get, and whatever you give us we’re laughing at it’ and that to me is, that’s lovely, they’re enjoying the show y’know.
LR – Next year marks the 20th anniversary of Red Dwarf. I was wondering how much progress is being made on the film.
NL – I’d rather not talk about it. It’s made me so angry and it’s made alot of the fans very upset. I just get angry at the way they’ve kept it going on and on and on as if it’s just about to go in to production. It’s all these years and nothing’s been done and they keep saying something has been done.
But I really don’t know, you’d have to talk to them really. I’ve stopped now, I’ve had enough now I don’t give a damn. I really don’t care if there’s a film made or not. There’s a chance it will be but I really don’t care. And if they make one and I’m not in it I won’t care either. That’s how I feel, I don’t care. I’m probabably the only person who’s the right age to play their role now. I’m probably the right age and the rest are too old. But I suppose they could still write a script and make everybody older and show what’s happened to them. It’s sad, it’s very sad. The writers have split up and I just thought once the writers had split up I felt red Dwarf had Finished. I felt it was over.
LR – I think things changed around series 7.
NL – They split up in series.. 5 wasn’t it? or six.. wasn’t it? I don’t know
LR – I thought it was series 7
NL – I don’t know. I know I came back and it just wasn’t the same. I just thought, It’s gone, It’s not the same. It’s just not the same. The earlier stuff was really.. Funnier, Much funnier
LR – Earlier on there seemed to be more of a dynamic of three people just sitting about.
NL – I’ve spoken to a lot of fans at the gigs I’m doing and they all agree and think the earlier stuff is better. You’ll get the odd person who’ll say ‘oh no, series 8 is the funniest for me’ but he’ll be a real sci-fi… geek and not even a comedy fan probably. The majority like the early stuff
LR – I hear they’re trying for a ninth series too.
NL – I didn’t know all this – look she’s trying to get in! She’s made it! Sorry, I’m obsessed with this door now. I didn’t know anything about that.
LR – Well the BBC have rejected the film twice despite liking the script and also have turned down a ninth series
NL – Oh really?! Gosh, I didn’t know that. They’ve been rejected? Hahaha! That does make you laugh when it’s supposed to be one of the most successful shows but it doesn’t surprise me. They’ve done it with lots of things haven’t they; and once something’s passed.. Well they’ve made 52 episodes, it’s enough. Enough of it’s been made just leave it. Let it be, let it rest
LR – There is the worry that if it comes back it just won’t be the same
NL – It’s not gonna be the same is it! The writers have split up, everyone’s got older, I’ll be the funniest person as usual, that won’t have changed. Haha… I’m sort of joking there… in a way. Haha
LR – One last thing. I remember seeing a Barclays advert a while back involving a powermad computer. There seems to be a debate about this online so I was wondering. Was that your voice?
NL – That was my voice. I remember doing that and thinking ‘this advert’s not bad’ and it wasn’t a bad advert so I was pleased. I get lots of rubbish
LR – Thanks for your time
NL – Is that everything? I think I’ll go get a cup of coffee.

LaughRiot wants to thank Norman for his time, and wish him well for the remaining dates on his tour. We’ll have a review of his current DVD “Bags and Biscuits” up shortly.